In his book The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle introduces his highly insightful concept of the ‘pain body’. This term describes the human ego, the illusory ‘self’ that we create in our own minds and then believe is our identity.
What is this ‘pain body’?
Out of certain experiences in early life that were typically emotionally painful, maybe even traumatic, our young, undeveloped minds came to firm conclusions about who we are – and who we have to be – in order to fit in with those who look after us and to whom we look up to for guidance and validation. We were desperate to feel more accepted, more loved, more valued than we were actually feeling.
This, then, is the ego: a mental construct that we have habituated ourselves into believing is who we are. At its core lie feelings of pain, unhappiness and, insecurity that we were, and still are, terrified of letting ourselves feel. Instead of being shown how to deal with these natural human feelings, instead we experienced a lack of empathy and acceptance. This experience left us believing that our natural, human feelings were invalid. This is how the ‘pain body’ was born.
Now, because we suffer under the illusion that this is who we are, by default we become absolutely invested in preserving this identity, and may remain trapped in this illusion for our entire life.
That’s why, says Tolle, most people would rather be in pain than take a leap into the unknown and risk losing their familiar unhappy self.
Observe, he says, the peculiar pleasure people seem to derive from being unhappy. The prospect of letting go of this illusion feels like death, and so we tell ourselves, “In my misery, at least I’m alive!” and we become addicted to that misery.
Our healing begins by becoming aware that we have made unconscious assumptions about ourselves, about others and about life. Now we can find the curiosity and courage to challenge these assumptions, unconscious conclusions we came to at a vulnerable and painful stage in our development. In so doing we access within ourselves a willingness to let go of, and thus dis-identify with, this false sense of ‘I’. It’s not who you are! We now begin the joyful, lifetime journey of discovery of who we really are, stepping more and more with each new day into becoming our authentic, essential Self.
We discover the humble joy and fulfillment inherent in serving the world through letting our light shine. Amazingly, this also gives others permission to do the same! More and more people begin to find the courage to let their light shine.
Soon a miracle begins to unfold and we find ourselves all living together in a much brighter world.
For practical guidance on how to navigate this pathway to emotional healing and living with more freedom, joy and fulfillment click here.